so today was supposed to be valentine's day. the day that somewhat every single couple in the world would celebrate and tied their relationship even closer and much more intimate? yeap, that day and yet here i am, sitting.. wondering.. imagining.. daydreaming about how is it like actually to celebrate the real v-day with your spouse. i wouldn't call it thee most blissful day because to be forthright, this supposed to be a special day had turned into some kind of ordinary day to me. i am so melodramatic.
even though, yes i did wished her valentine's day but i felt something is wrong. so completely of the socket. i felt like im doing it in an erroneous way. i should do it better. i felt like wishing to her isnt enough to show my feelings.
i called her exactly after midnight last night. we talked like usual. laughed like we normally do. but i didnt feel right. maybe the whole talking-to-a-person-through-the-phone-isnt-going-to-make-your-day is actually make sense. after we finished talking, i hung up. stopped myself from doing anything for a split seconds. then tears once again humming down my face. i seriously didnt even know where that came from. i wasnt sad or depressed or tensed. maybe i just committed the worst case criminal you would ever picture on a v-day.
rule #2: dont ever wish to your spouse in a special day through the phone. it sucks.
i felt sorry to her to be with me. to be like together together. i dont want her to feel distant from me, thats the last thing i would want a girl felt to me. i want to treat her just the way she deserved. by talking to her through the phone everyday definitely makes my day but didnt meet her and done it the right way is just so feeble, pitiable, pathetic. im a jerk. im a douchebag.
im sorry baby if you have to feel that way. im really sorry.
im trying to make our first v-day the most special one.
i guess it is the most unique one since im the only boyfriend in the world that only wished his girl via phone. that's somewhat i called not appropriate. if only i have the power of a rich man. i would spend every single penny i have just to be with you. with my girl. stays with you. talked with you the whole day.
i gave her a present after i left camp. i posted her using poslaju, i sent her the gift. she did tell me about how crazy she was to edward cullen, so i gave her a present. a twilight book. another thing that we have in common. another thing that brought us together.
the coolest part of all, she said "you're my edward" to me. that will not be any better than that.
anything else in my mind?
yes. of course. im a guy that never stops thinking. always burst with ideas and opinion. im so eerie to be exact.
i am so sad because on the most exceptional day of any other day in a year i dont have the chance to hug or kissed her to symbolize my love to her. i know that might sounded yucky but when i love someone, that doesnt even matter. i love my lil baby girl. she's my kristen stewart man. she rocked my world. making sacrifices for her is the only thing i could do for her now, since we're no longer available to see each other everyday anymore. distance had separate us. stupid distance. dont worry baby, i will try to never ever stop loving you. and you're always be cute to me even though you're bigger than me individuals. you're my sumo.
happy valentine's day anis. im sorry. i love you.