Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I don't know what I'd do wrong

You know, sometimes I've asked myself this question repeatedly in different situations, "What if I just don't exist in this world, or at least, what if I just die? As in like, dead, hit by a lorry, or had a cancer, or a burglar shot me or committed suicide. What if I...pass away?"

Wouldn't that be easier for everyone else? For my parents, at least they would have one more person less to think about. For my friends, at least they would have one more person in their life they won't bother to care about. For my girlfriend, or ex- now, at least you wont suffer or I'm watching you suffering. Why would I do this to her? It's like unfair. For her. But it's for the best, so what am I suppose to say? What am I suppose to do? I'm doing this for our sake not for myself only. I'm not using you as a reason for me to break this off. In fact, you're too good for me to be my girlfriend. I salute you in so many ways, they way you see things, you study, you think, you think creatively. I adore you.

Dear you,

If one day I die which there is a possibility right, can you just send my apologise to my parents? Tell them, I'm the proudest son they could ever own to have them as my parents? Cause you know why? I don't wanna live anymore. Not if I see you dying out of depression.

I'm no Romeo. I'm just going through life. That's all. If you see that I'm dumping you, then you're wrong. I want us, just the way we are before. Like we used to be. I'm helping you more than you think I'm dumping you. I'm sorry. Sincerely sorry. I love you but I know, that would make me sounds like a jerk. But yeah, now I understand the meaning of regret. Thanks for everything.

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