Saturday, March 20, 2010
so camera phone really does suck
Sometimes I feel like my journey of life is just another purpose of why I shouldn't be continue surviving, everything sometimes just started with failure and stoppage. I'm dealing with everything in my life now like literally, some things remained unchanged but most things are new-fangled to me.
After the spm result come up, I'm broke down to so many subdivided situation. At first I made up to my mine on what will I seize in university/college/etc. But now I'm down to zero, my future became blurry. Again. At first my choice was taking architecture course but my parents support me to take accounting course, yet my sister gave me so many ideas and opinion. I'm confused.
Let see, I love maths. In fact, that's the only matter that makes me twitchy and all, so I guess accounting would be full of em. At another plane, my heart says that architecture is so thrilling and that catches my eyes. I'm full of curiosity. Well, architecture it is I guess.
Yet most probably one of my wished was to continue in peninsular, selangor, kl, doesnt matter, as long as im near to my baby. Anis, I promise to you that you're not going to be the reason why I studied in semenanjung even if I did. (i'll try). She ever told me that.."if you want to continues you study, dont ever make me as the reason you prolong. It's your future. Don't expect too much from me. I don't want to make you sad, I don't want to disappoint you."..
It's so bizarre how obsessed I am to her. When I took some moments to myself while coffee on my side and clouds-view on top of my head, spying on what will the sun does everyday, so completely ridiculous, I have thought about why am I so assessment about our relationship. Maybe this was the real love that Romeo&Juliet had on their own, but still I wasn't feeling fully hundred percent. She makes me happy. She makes me laughed like I never laughed before. I was laughing squeakily when we were on the phone. That is an indication of a good relationship, right? yes I hope so.
Such an entirety of frustration to me is that i get a fucking a- for my english and malay language in my spm result, I cried but no one else knew about that. To really put fuels on fire is that when I told my teacher about how I did in my result. She was devastated that all her subjects didn't came up to her expectations. I felt sorry for her but that was my best shot. But on the bright side? I only get A's and B's which was an inclusive idiotic.
After this I have plenty more things to be done, scholarships, reconsidering about getting a half-time job, classes, applications, offers, and etc. Well at least I have something to work on with my day offs. For now,adios.
Posted by Fendi at 2:39 PM