Tuesday, April 13, 2010

short-term memories

Have you ever dreamt about reaching a rainbow's end? Have you ever feel how cool it is to know that heaven knows our existence. It is hard when you have an anxiety in you that literally unexplainable and unutterable to understands. It's hard because I have it in me now, I cant be with someone so long and having precious time together without loving that person. When I started to stare at your eyes on how would it blinked every seconds or your lips moving uttering those beautiful meaning of the words you're saying, and If i kept convincing myself that I am not fallen in love with that person, means I actually took a step forward in terms of how i felt to that person.


How torturous, agonizing and excruciating would it be when you can only tell these to yourself without that person knowing the real thing going on in you. It's like you want to scream from the bottom of your pie hole and shout that person's name how much you love them. Because that person doesn't have the same feeling that you have toward them.

It's like taking all actions all over again or analogous with the state of putting yourself in high schools again but you are actually already graduated. It's so beautiful and mesmerizing to say in words how deeply you're into that person but the only person that can hear that is only yourself.

I have no doubt I'm in this achingly throbbing situation. I'm into someone but I cant figured out thoughts from myself to articulate it in sensationally numbing words.

This is to you..

I have hundreds of questions in me but probably only few or a couple can only be answered.

I can say that when I'm thinking about someone else and have the moments for myself, I will think more profound about that person. That's when I will started to have subdivided chapters in the episodes and considering and imagining about how would us be in good or bad certainty of circumstances. It is when I will go to each tunnel of assessment and started to analysis you in thorough details. How I would be sad and agony with you and vice versa. I'm going to smile for myself when I started to think about happy things about/that I have with you. It's so blissful even to only put it in silence distracting utterance.

I don't know the meaning of suffers when you're beside me. I don't understand the sentence of "endless outpouring love" when you're in front of me. I feel like I can envisage and visualize myself in a mall filled with amazing shopping stores but at the end of the place would have an oceanfront view that just put the icing on the luscious, delectable, mouth-watering cake. I can work on my system for hours and hours in the day when I'm with you because I was full with curiosity about your whole adventurous life stories. As bad as it sounds, I will laughs to all your impractical offensive jokes just because I know It would makes you happy. I don't know what is the meaning of cares when I'm with you.


I'm sorry because you can't help me in this situation.

But here goes for another heart-rending and poignant separation.

I love you


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