Mind-fucked

Vain

One of the college drama team cast during Minggu Haluansiswa 2011/2012 (Orientation Week)

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Hi, life's been such a fuss lately. I haven't been blogging since Raya season about a month ago, that's sure a long time to count right. Not that I don't want to squeeze in any free time to blog but I just don't have any. So far, the new college I'm staying is considerably okay, I don't want to complain. I have two roomates now, they're also okay, I don't want to complain. Nothing much to write about.

And my new course, Urban and Regional Planning is also okay. Still have to go through some hardcore designing process so I'm not entirely in an utter boredom learning that course so far.

I want to get out and take pictures. I'm just too stressed out with everything right now. I'm too busy with my college activities, my studio assignments just can never learn how to stop torturing me. Being a Degree student isn't that easy compared to be a pre-Uni student. You need to be active in all sorts of association in order to keep yourself active and be able to stay in the same college for the next semester. And my study haven't started that much yet, which sucks alot. Cause I want to study, for now, as long as this motivation to do so still kicks in but when I start to run out my motivation juice, I'm doomed.

I. JUST. WANT. TO. FEEL. FREE. AND. TAKE. LOTSA. PICTURES :(

Oh Mr. Raya!

Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir dan Batin dari kami sekeluarga :) Have a fun celebration readers!

Everytime I sweats,it feels like a drop of ocean waves coming down on my face

Look what a dawn artificial light shadows from outside of my house could offer you. A magical,impossible image

Knowing that Bon Iver and St. Iver's song instrumenting through my ear tubes, legs spread out like a pregnant woman in labor, and everytime I sweats, it feels like a drop of ocean waves running down my face, I just knew that this dreamy graceful imagery I'm having is just earthly, terrestrial moving thing I could only have in vague and uncertain time in my life. Wish it wouldn't stop, I wish it could have an unforeseeable long journey that can out-stretched this ever growing imagination, only rapidly emergent more, refuse to when it would stop. I just wished that sometimes...the good times would never end, the happily-ever-after day couldn't see an unsettling departure, but life happens.

Sun and fun II

A special caption for this pic would be "A special photo"

:D The last time we're going out before I'm going back to KL. sobs

It feels like an oven in my room now

Perhaps the same temperature as the earth core. lol

5 things that popped in my head when I mention winter are...

Cold, Sex, Runaway, Love, You

26/8/2011

one,two, ... *snapped* three. after the show, happy nonetheless exhausted

my first attend of a theater show titled "Short Eyes"

Zahiril Adzim (If you don't know him, google him)

As I am trying to catch a sleep, I ran across these pictures in one of my random picture folders, it instantly splashed me an absolute fresh memory on that happy night we (Me Ac Amal Oney) all had that day. Amal brought us by her car to the Actor's Studio in Pavilion KL building, if I'm not mistaken and the building on the roof-top was breath-taking that I need minutes to indulge the sceneric moment (as usual of my in-awe moment). And then, she droved us all the way to Danau Kota to go for a late night look-around in Uptown markets. It was a blast :)

What's not to be love?

It takes a while for me to seriously consider this public humiliation I'm about to show you, my desire of doing lomography had never been more than this, considering this is my...second film of trying. It's supposedly give me a descent,experimenting 36 shots in that roll that I've imported from Hong Kong but as you see, only 9 appears to be developed fine. It's good enough to consider as pictures compared to the ones that don't worked out and never even existed at all. Me and exposed-photo-shots are like arch enemies between the vampire coven and the werewolves clan in Twilight saga, they sorta don't work out in one way but always find themselves a way of failing with each others benefits.

I need to learn more and more. And for me, the third time's a charm right? I bought two films, this and another one that I'm about to use. I will consider to make a useful benefit out of a handle-with-care advice this time. NO MORE UNDERLIGHT PHOTO SNAPS AND ONLY SUNLIGHT EXPOSURE so that I wont waste another precious film in trial. Wish me luck!

Sighs

This is what a broken lens looks like and I swear I want to auction this to anybody that would buy and fix it themselves. Planning to buy a new one when I get back to KL.

And oh man! This pic was taken a long time ago, I this this was still in the early days in UM, I miss my student card, whoever saw and stole my wallet in Shah Alam and took everything inside away, well, FUCK YOU BASTARD

Not as good as what rough sex feels like

"O here will I set up my everlasting rest and shake the yoke of inauspicious stars from the world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last. Arms, take your last embrace! And, lips, O you, the doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss a dateless bargain to engrossing death!"-Shakespeare

My second roll of film results

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I'd probably be the world worst writer to ever put that title in my blog but I have nothing in mind now except, yes, knowing I'll be leaving this ever growing lair of mine or so called a room, no, I don't want to. In a happy state, that's all I can say, I mean, everyone around me knows what they want and they get it, like my father who always wanted to renovate this tiny space of ours we all lived together and now, it's fully renovated and function better as our house, or like my eldest sister, Diwi, who happens to have her own baby,and maybe my youngest big sis, Eliza, who is now planning to get into a marriage life, life's a miracle, and me, likewise, whom able to witness all this humbling situations, it's dreamy almost, so, I am happy.

But like it's always do, farewell come on strike again, It's childish really to even have this as my thought but I don't want to leave, especially leaving my family, I want to stay.

Regret. That's my only explanation towards my decision of studying in peninsular. Feeling like you don't get sober up after you get drunk, you can only imagine.

Seconds turning to minutes, minutes to hours, hours to more hours and now it's days, days that are less that a fortnight, I'll no longer be at home. Will head back to KL to continue my study, that seems to never stop.

Oh also, by the way, I've decided, like finally, I wont be appealing to change course in UM. I don't see the point of changing it anymore, I can almost swear my head's not even up to that course, just need to follow what's served to me now. Maybe it's the best to stay at my current major. It's all like a hot mess.

Hi guys! Zomg, very excited to upload my first video post, and don't mind the lighting, the shaking, the unprepared script lines, I just did this randomly when Mika and his mom stepped in my house last night and I was jumping up and down joyously when I saw the little dude at home.

This is a sincere publication of me, a cell phone quality, so lame. And also don't mind my squeaking voice when I pronounced Mika's name, he just makes me happy all the time. And I cut my hair short also!

Enjoy enjoy enjoy. It's Mika and her mother! :D

Her voice just haunt me good

It grows big in me slowly

Penetrate me with this.

What? Study again? Fuck this.

Not in the wee moment now

It is either I just ate the worst spaghetti bolognaise just now or I'm not in the mood to talk about something pleasant in this post, but thank god for that Transformer coloring book I just bought in Suria Time's Bookshop could cool down my temper.

Not that I want to mention names nor cases, but somehow I just feel this situation just came popped in one of my brain cells and turned off every single happy activity in my body. Friends. Yes, that's what it is, feels good to finally be able to point out what's been bothering me all this while, well, not that while though. I have plenty of friends, goods, bads, friends that I don't even remember we are friends, and anything in between, but if you are a good friend, don't break my heart, don't offend me in anyway.

Seriously, I don't wana start the I-am-actually-this-kinda-guy session but just one thing for sure, Angry or Mad or Pissed off or any words related aren't my thing. I don't get upset that easily. That much even. I just keep it to myself and when I am utterly depressed, you would see it through my sketch/drawings and that means BAD. Friends are meant to be categorized as someones you would be comfortable with to talk about anything, to laugh about anything, or anything about anything. It's not the total freedom I need in order to be comfy with you, It's the carefree I want whenever I feel like doing/talking/whatevs.

Don't actually realized I am breaking this down to "types" of friends I have, but next in my forever-friends-problems is neglectfulness from my friends. Like seriously, I know I'm all boring and stupid and financially poor to most society out there but don't just find me when you're alone. When you need someone to tell your secret about. Do I look like I care? NO.

What I care is when we both at least act like being friends or whatever, (just got a whole different thing now) have our own time together.

All I'm saying is that, If you wana do FUN or HANG-OUTS, don't just find me in your yellow-pages service in your phone to call me out whenever you feel in need, find me when you want to spend time with me, you know like the quality time people are talking about? Yes, that. Just because you have a boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't mean that you need to take care of his/her feelings more when I asked you out just cause I don't have their permission. FUCK. I just don't get what's the point.

And to those have like RULES AND REGULATIONS for me to be your friend, well hear this, FUCK YOURSELF ON THE TABLE, what are you, the messenger of God for me to take care of that things? and just cause you have the coolest fuck-buds in your place, don't mean I need to be as bullshit as them either. Fuck you and your perfection-ness.

I am.. obviously upset now, funny thing is, there's a quote saying, "a good friend is a friend need indeed" but now I am talking dirt on "friends". Funny. Don't be offended or anything if you're reading this.

Before getting to your phone and start texting me saying, "Suck your own cock!", Well this is just another random whine from me, maybe I just remembered my past, that's why everything just got heat up in my head or maybe t'was something else, I don't know, I need a.... friend. Sorry but seriously, this post is not referring to anybody, don't get touchy and all okay. Just being human here.

Peace. x

Going through a phase called XXX

This is basically what happen when no sleep is included in your daily or night hours