i feel like posting these

teh tarik sadap!
mom and dad, im PROUD of you both for whatever reasons you two makes me feel enlighten,spirited, fired with boost up of enthusiasm and keenness. i love you!

why do you called it untitled when you're actually typing words on the status thats makes it has a title

so even uploading two photos (above) took almost forever to finally lucratively uploaded it. huhh

it has been like a while now since i started to kick myself in the mode of study when i got here. everything had happened and everything had changed too. i started to lay myself in the lazy-land nowadays, wasting much more precious time on countless bulldungs that i dont particularly would called it as beneficial to myself for doing such useless activities. just make it short, i dont study much. got it? worse part is i dont blog much as well, its not that i dont want to (believe me, it is at wits end to fill up yourself with so many unexpressed and constrained feelings and thoughts) blog but i just dont have spare time to relax and breath till the next assignments given.

weekdays are turning itself to catostrophic aggravation as now i feel like time is definitely running fast. fast as if now, EXAM IS NEAR THE CORNER AND I HAVENT EVEN SWOT UP ON MY SYLLABUS YET! like what am i turning to despite a word called STUPID!

im freaking out now. like seriously. not like seing Miley Cyrus masturbating herself on stage with her new song called ouh-like-i-even-give-a-damn kinda freaking out or like ouh mj had flabbergasted the world as he appears to be still alive after digging himself out from hell. but this is different kinda freaking out, as if like im now like at the edge of the building and ready to jump off but just realized it was only 30cm high from the ground and how i terrified to step on the groud and wanted to feel like im dead.

another worse part is, what happen to all my gifted talent that god gave me. surprise me with my hand-ability to create arts that full of meaningful and harmonious images? now, i cant draw! i cant produce ideas anymore! probably im waiting on the suppose-d inspiration to come but its taking too long to be inspired. like, iv been left behind from people that doesnt even care much about drawings, typically. for instance, in architectural drawing we gotta make some sketches out of letterings and i made a portrait and its been (not completely) rejected. (the tutor guy said i just need to have more discipline on my works). this is MAJOR!

i cant seems to see myself having fun anymore, i mean i didnt even went back sabah during this semester break. my decision to stay here in college is just one of the bad idea iv determined so far. i cant believe i wanted to stay in kl and leaving my family spoilt themselves by missing me too much back at home. gosh i missed them!

and now, from one to another worse part. i am sensing something fishy towards people around me here in um. i mean, yes they're amazing, they're friendly and all but i dont feel the vibe of welcoming. now, that i just had time to rest up my scattered brain, i just realized i actually need to feed these people with my authenticity and my genuineness. i feel like im the one who needed to react towards them and not the other way around. im not being myself.

people found me snobbish in way i couldnt explain because they're being snobbish to me too. what can i do when you left me hangin' saying hi to you and you dont say hi back to me. do you call that unfair too?

buuuttt at some part im thinking that im being way too over-protective to my insecurity that iv spent so much time thinking on these bullshits. resolutions=stop thinking about it + live in your own world that is far much better than living in others.

back to my live here in university malaya, there were once that i felt like im almost out of hope and gave up on the tension here that im trying to figure out how to tell my dad to quite from here. but naah, i was being so recklessly stupid that moment so lets just pretend that never happened. i took baby-steps on building my confidence not just in myself but also in my study. i might not get it like in a snap but its not a criminal to double-up your efforts right. so instead of dragging myself all the way down rambling on shitty stuffs happening/happened in my life. i will just put one conclusion towards my absence in my blog, I MISSED MY BLOG SO MUCH THAT EVERYTIME I WANTED TO FEEL LIKE SUICIDING AND THOUGHT OF BLOGGING I WOULD SMILE BACK and actually my life throughout i was being here wasnt sucked much. maybe im being too melodramatic but gotta learn the whole definition of the word ADAPTION. for now, will come back more soon with rad stuffs and more updates. good day faggots! xo

adquiere cualidades

turned off my brain.
its time to hunt. naturally breathing inside a dissapearance.
leave your scent in an evitable way.
the way you wanted to be eradicate using the power of deep love had setted the prey.
powerless hopelessness effortlessly escaped through the black tunnel of secrets.
because i understood.
it was too late to choose anything, too early to decide something.

Selamat Pengantin Baru Dayang & Halim

So I apologise for the extreme belatedly overdue updates I've made. I have been exceptionally eventful and hectic throughout the time I wasn't updating my blog.

So, lets cut the chase and jump off to the point, I think it was last two weeks when I took an exclusion from lectures and tutorial classes since I have to fly back Sabah to attend my sister's wedding day. The day was just laborious, arduous, as exhausting as it may sound like. No joke, I only took 2 days off from classes and make it three counting sunday when I was there. The time passed right before my eyes, I couldn't feel, I couldn't enjoy much with my families. They were busy orginizing and schedulizing their minutes to make sure everything went perfectly well. And it went well as expected.

So, as you might expect, once again I've been "hired" by the (now) little miss bride to take her photographs during her day. It went even better when hesley was around to check me out with all the techniques and the bokeh and the aperture and shutter speed and whatsoever. My new found obsession in photography grows as im learning even more stuffs and ways to take beautiful shots. Altough, I would just say that these creations still not up to professional but atleast I can take memorable pictures for my beloved ones. Hope you guys enjoy browsing all the photos I've taken as I do too! Will post more updates soon after the wifi stops killing my precious time here. xo, fendi

wedding cake. yummy!
kak chut. linda. shaz

eja. linda. fahmi. aunty gipoh. diwi. abg halim

the arrivals

my personal favorite

me and kee

he photographers (official one hmm)

Wish you both the best in your melodiously beautiful life. I love you so much!

x

phases de la lune

So as I promised to give more updates during the whole time of my absentees, I was actually been inattentively preoccupied with paper works and assignments that needed to be done. From tutorials to presentation to drawing to other infuriating works, blergh I could be so dead of overtiredness. One of the worst case Im dealing now is that I have 3 residual abundant trigonometry tutorial works that put me in an immovable jammed that I cant go on due to my lack of explicable understanding in that course. I wouldn't blame myself for it but I would blame the new lecturer that "fortunately" find an exciting comfortable way of talking to himself throughout his lectures.

As I were saying, my scarcity of period makes me having no time to update my blog. Eventhough, the urge I had to fling my oblinging dancing little fingers to click all those tuneful musical and harmoniously mellow of my keyboard sound is indeed elevated but again, the busy-ness once again won over my spare of time. So these are some pictures of me and my friends went exploring the more narrow edges of kuala lumpur during weekends.

So, Im glad Syafiq called me a big eater but.. is just that I sometimes couldn't finished my foods so whats the point. I've run through so many places, tasted so many palatable foods, been to shops to drop and more! And photoshoped pictures are now ready to be serve! Enjoy!

bukit bintang

our college

dayang / mei / mel

pang?

bistro delafrance's dessert can put me to sleep as I wandrously floating up in the air of a heavenly paradising tasty food

Syafi-eee-q

sunway pyramid

pavillion

enjoying the wind much boy? mhm
me / yan / jay / dayang / jacky

me / jay / dayang / jacky / yan

bangsar