They see me rollin, they hatin'

S D N E I R F

Friends. What do we know about friends? Do you have any friends? Any friends at all? Seriously, I'm asking you whether or not you have a "real" friends.

Friends are not easy to find these days. Or probably, at my age, friends are just basically defined as someone that you can cling to go to lunch with everyday or someone that is in your class, sitting next to you and you call them as your friend. But for me, the term friends are more important than that. More precious. It just hurts me knowing that people taking me for granted as their friends. Being unappreciated to me for what I've done to them. I don't know what were they thinking.

What do feel if...

1. You're there with them whenever they're happy about something although you weren't part of the happiness together with them

2. You're there when they are in deep depression and sad moment because of their life problems and they find you to tell you about it

3. You're there when you see them alone and have no friends at the moment but you come into the picture to give them a company

4. You're there when they have problems in their study and you're the one who pushed them to keep on going and stay strong?

...But all you've got was ignorance. By your own good friends or friends or whatever. All I'm saying is that, people nowadays should be able to learn more about their own friends, because no matter how much hatred or ignorance you had towards these people you called friends, they're still, nevertheless, are you friends. The one who would stay with you at the end of the day.

Same goes to whoever reads this, don't be such a fool and judge your friends based on their CAR, appearance, money, or status. Love them just the way they are with their personality and honesty.

I wish you could realize how I was there for you no matter how high or low you have been that time and you never be with me when I'm at my highs and lows. We're adults, and to still be thinking about ditching our own friends are something acceptable is just sad for you. And because of that, I'm not going to be your true friend anymore, all I can give to you now is just my pity. Thanks for everything.

THIS IS NOT REFERRING TO ANYONE SO PLEASE DON'T BE FUCKING GUILTY ABOUT IT. SAYING THIS AS IN GENERAL. x

Thank you to whoever that took this picture of me. Rajin kan sia? Haha

Eliza Hayati x Farhi Fahmi

Hi guys, I haven't been posting pictures these days haven't I? I really don't know whether I have the time to take any since the time that I had in university is so limited. Plus, bringing along my dslr back and forth from one place to another is so tiring. Sadly, that baby of mine's only functioning for my assignments. Take pictures for my works and shit. Gah I feel bad. For not taking pictures, as in for me, cause I want to go out and take pics like I used to before. And I haven't even go and develop my Praktika films, I just don't have the money for it to do it :( Sad.

On the other hand, during my last holiday back in Sabah, my youngest sister got engaged. So wonderful you know :) And of course I became the un-official and official photographer as I always have been and here are some of my favorite shots that day. Congratulations sis! x

This pic was taken 0.029384923898 seconds ago when my roomies wasn't around. Both of them went back home so the room is all mine this weekend. Heh.

Just feel like to take some random pic and upload it in my blog. Tim Tam anyone? Got it from Cold Storage. Reminds me of my sister, Linda. Cause first thing was that she gave me this when I got home from KL during that last break I had in Sabah. Love you Lin. Suddenly I miss home :(

Don't mine the clustered-messy looking background. Boys room. What do you expect? :)

voices in my head

You know what,

What?

Nothing.

Hehe.

What??

Why??

Are you okay?

Fuck this shit, this weekend, I wanna buy a box of cigarettes, go to a place that I like, sketch the whole entire day If I need to and go back to my room and sleep.

That's awesome!

I know.

So it's all messed up now and I'm facing against my life by myself

Please god, for once, I want to feel free to do anything I want even though if it's wrong. For once, I want to break free and live the life that a person at my age should be living. I love this quote saying,"If you don't do foolish things while you're young, you don't have anything to smile about when you're old" I feel like my life have missed off by some beats. I'm off track a bit cause I haven't been myself in this entire whole time. But I just couldn't be myself with the kind of environment I'm living in here, it is just all too serious and shit. Fuck.

I don't know what I'd do wrong

You know, sometimes I've asked myself this question repeatedly in different situations, "What if I just don't exist in this world, or at least, what if I just die? As in like, dead, hit by a lorry, or had a cancer, or a burglar shot me or committed suicide. What if I...pass away?"

Wouldn't that be easier for everyone else? For my parents, at least they would have one more person less to think about. For my friends, at least they would have one more person in their life they won't bother to care about. For my girlfriend, or ex- now, at least you wont suffer or I'm watching you suffering. Why would I do this to her? It's like unfair. For her. But it's for the best, so what am I suppose to say? What am I suppose to do? I'm doing this for our sake not for myself only. I'm not using you as a reason for me to break this off. In fact, you're too good for me to be my girlfriend. I salute you in so many ways, they way you see things, you study, you think, you think creatively. I adore you.

Dear you,

If one day I die which there is a possibility right, can you just send my apologise to my parents? Tell them, I'm the proudest son they could ever own to have them as my parents? Cause you know why? I don't wanna live anymore. Not if I see you dying out of depression.

I'm no Romeo. I'm just going through life. That's all. If you see that I'm dumping you, then you're wrong. I want us, just the way we are before. Like we used to be. I'm helping you more than you think I'm dumping you. I'm sorry. Sincerely sorry. I love you but I know, that would make me sounds like a jerk. But yeah, now I understand the meaning of regret. Thanks for everything.

...and so, I'm inspired by an inspiration

x

"For me, the muscle of curiosity and appreciation, enables the muscle of imagination."